When it hurts or is hard for you and others, but necessary
These past few months have thought me a lot about how people deal with the card they are dealt with in life. You find some have amazing strength to be able to take on any life difficulty in a positive way even others feed off the positive energy. But I have realised you don’t just come to be that way easily, you have to learn through life lessons and work hard on how to see life positively, to accept your situation and move forward with kindness. However for others it may not always be like that, for some will feel like a victim to being on the wrong side of luck of what life has thrown at them. For you see how one chooses to move forward and deal with things and change, for the ability to be strong or positive is not always in their grasp or in their first instinct to want to change for the better.
I‘ve come to understand as I’ve been through many types of lessons and I’ve learnt how to deal with things differently now. For me and what I want now, is to go down a stronger, more positive road. Some times to “try” seems too much like hard work, so you take the easier approach for what one can cope with, at any one time, and give in and fall victim to bad luck by throwing in the towel. But this approach you think, surely there has to be more to life? It can seem in the eyes of that type of situation, that it appears a lot easier for a stronger person to just say ok plan A didn’t work let’s move on to plan B, without hesitation. But trust me when I say it’s not always that easy, it’s a lot harder and each day can be harder than the day before but to “try” has to be the start of wanting to change to become a stronger person and have a positive life. My aim is to work towards the later theory, for a positive and stronger being. For life is short and to spend time and energy on feeding the negative energy and people and stresses of life, can all only end up with one result, to destroy a soul to the point of utter sadness and darkness. For if or when you go there it can seem so hard to turn back to make life easier, lighter, happier or indeed positive.
I’ve experienced so many difficult challenges lately and having the feeling that I’m being judged, on how I will react to a situation or how I should deal with it and not stress myself out or get consumed by grief and indeed stress. My first hand experience on how the death of a loved one can change a person that it makes you see the different side to folk when before I gave myself up to hope and love for others, while understanding that in itself is enough to change any person or situation. But I’ve quickly learned the hard way but it’s better to have learnt the lesson than not at all, for that is a step closer to being stronger. Even though it can be extremely difficult to go through so many challenges at one time you learn your limits and when to say ok enough is enough, you must decide what you can deal with and take it from there, one step at a time. And putting yourself first when for me was something I never used to do easily or naturally even. But you are so vulnerable during grief you really have to make that effort to put your own feelings first, even when it is hard for others to accept or understand and can sometimes turn on you for making that choice. But for me it’s necessary, at this time, during this given moment, in this situation. At this early stage of my journey I’m learning to try not spend so much of my already limited positive energy on negativity for it will only consume me and alter my ability to process what life challenges lie ahead as I know only too well there will be many many many more and I will need to remind myself over and over to think of myself and my own feelings, be kind to myself for it’s necessary in order to move forward… in a positive way…regardless on what anyone else thinks, you know what is right for you and what you can deal with and when…